Teenagers in love, for the first time
You notice that your son has become very forgetful of late; you catch him staring into the distance, saying nothing, a thoughtful expression on his face. When he suddenly asks you what girls like to eat, or drink, or get as presents; you know your son is in trouble, he is in love for the first time. Girls seem better at this, they practice being in love, watching romantic movies, reading "how to" guides, falling for pop stars and film actors.
Most girls are acutely aware of the opposite sex from a very early age; think of how many daughters have their dads wrapped round their little fingers! Boys, on the other hand, seem blissfully ignorant of girls other than as strange creatures who giggle a lot but are useful when you want help with homework. They tend not to flirt with their mums as small children, unlike girls with their dads; boys seem to enjoy vulnerability at a young age as if preparing themselves to be tough later on.
When a teenager falls in love for the first time, prepare yourself for a real life soap opera in your living room. There is nothing quite as dramatic as a teenager trying to work out the complexities of this unpredictable emotion. The mildest, most placid child becomes a hysterical drama queen, doors get slammed, objects fly and your phone bill risks becoming astronomical. It should not be called falling in love; it is more like exploding into love. Everything that defined the teenager, pre being in love, is redundant.
The emotions are powerful and having to accommodate another person into ones' definition of self, can cause immense upheaval. Teenagers by their nature are selfish creatures; the world is seen from their perspective. In extremely intense new relationships, a bubble forms around the couple and nobody else exists. This can be very worrying for a parent as their teenagers values are being strongly influenced by an outsider and the teenager hardly communicates with the family. If the relationship matures, the teenager will emerge from the bubble and reintegrate into the family, plus one. If the relationship fails, the family will be needed to help stabilize the hurt and loss and grief, until the next time.
Generally, however, the first time a teenager falls in love is the worst. They may make the same mistakes, a second or third time, but somehow both they and their family have adapted to the level of emotional intensity that love brings. All a parent can do through the tornado that is first love, is ensure the teen does still communicate occasionally with others, and be there when they emerge from the other side.