Does your teen suffer from low-esteem? What you can do to help.

Worrying about how they look, whether they are popular, whether they do well at school, will they get into college, get a good job; and that's just the parents fussing! Think how hard it is to be a teenager today; all those media messages telling you what is beautiful, acceptable, and cool. It is no wonder that so many teens suffer from low self-esteem when they have such high standards to meet. Unfortunately, some parents have unreasonable expectations themselves and actually make the situation worse by criticizing their kids. A parent should be a child's ally in this tough world, the person they can count on to support them and not judge them unfairly or harshly.

If your teenager is always moaning about how they look, try and dig underneath to find out if this is a ploy for new clothes or a real sense of insecurity about their appearance. Ask them what they think is beautiful, talk to them about how ugly underneath some pretty people are; you are trying to get them to see beyond the outside. Tell them how beautiful they are, and don't forget to say the same to your sons, they need reassurance too. If there is something practical you can do to help your teen improve their appearance, then, why not do it?

For example, braces are not just cosmetic for teeth; they help avoid cleaning problems later in life. If your teenager has spots, make sure they use the right cleansers or take them to a dermatologist. If your teenager is overweight you are not doing them any favors by pretending it is alright, obesity can lead to serious health problems. If you know you are overweight too, then losing weight with your teenager is a very supportive and practical way to tackle a self-esteem issue.

Whatever you do, do not dismiss their concerns as rubbish; if it is important to them, it should be important to you. We all know that the teenage years are the most insecure time of our lives, do not denigrate those feelings, they deserve serious consideration. Your teenager looks to you to help boost their self-confidence; through praise, through practical support. If they are struggling at school, consider a tutor for the subject that causes them the most trouble. If they seem to have few friends, try and enroll them in a club that matches their interests and plays to their strengths; giving them as many opportunities to succeed as possible will boost their self-esteem. Above all, say you believe in them; sometimes that is all they need to hear.