Teenagers who have no respect for authority

The word respect has become much abused of late. It appears in a lot of songs your teenager listens to, it is bandied about to justify poor behavior and it is demanded from some, without the understanding that it needs to be earned. If you do not respect someone, you are unlikely to listen to them, or be truthful with them, or take them seriously. Respect means valuing someone as an individual, taking their feelings, thoughts and ideas into consideration and believing them to have worth. In many cultures, old age is to be respected and revered, as being a sign of wisdom and experience and not to be questioned.

In a society that places so much value on youth and beauty, it is hardly surprising that teenagers grow up seeing only the external and not connecting with the inner values of honesty, kindness and integrity. Parents try to instill these values in their children, but too often the opinions of their peers are far more important to teenagers, than the values of their elders.

Teenagers listen to music that tells them to respect themselves, without explaining what this means. They see being rich and famous as marks of success, and worthy of respect. Unless parents keep talking to their teenagers about what is important in life, they will not get a balanced view. Unfortunately, many of those in authority expect the worst from teenagers and treat them with little respect, assuming that if they are out late at night they are up to no good. This then becomes an issue for the teen who believes their opinion is never heard. They resort to extreme action to put their feelings across and after repeated encounters with authority, have no respect for it at all.

If your teen has been acting out at school, but believes nobody listens to them, they may extend that belief to all in authority. When you have a teenager who does not listen to you anymore, gets into fights with those who disagree with them, and keeps getting into trouble with the police, you have a teenager who has lost all respect for anybody in authority. They may believe they are rebelling against an unfair society, but with their limited resources, they resort to aggression, defiance and petty criminal acts to make their voice heard.

This cycle of destructive behavior must be stopped before it escalates into a serious contravention of the law. Your teen may need boot camp to help them understand the need for authority in society and to learn what respect really means. The parents may have little choice but to send their child to a residential camp as their authority carries no weight and counseling is no longer enough for the disillusioned teenager.