Teenagers who want to vacation with friends
As teenagers get older, they are less and less likely to want to vacation with their family, much to the regret of their parents, but teenagers will want to spend holiday time in a different manner. There may have been a tradition in the family of visiting the same place each year and there will be very strong memories associated with these vacations. The teenager who feels they have grown out of their family may be especially difficult to handle at holiday time.
At least whilst they are at school there is a structure to their day and some rules they may not break and opportunities to argue with their parents are limited. Parents of defiant teenagers can come to dread vacation time and summer break can become a marathon of endurance; there is nothing more sullen and disagreeable than a bored teenager!
The teenager is growing up and wants to do different activities to their parents and younger siblings; parents are likely to disapprove of some of these activities. A teenager may have a part-time job and have saved money specifically for vacation time, but not to be spent with their parents. When a teenager announces that they are not coming to the summer place with their family this year but going to camp by the coast with friends, a parents' first instinct will be to veto the idea.
The teenager will have announced rather than asked in an attempt to steam roller a parent into acceptance. It is a challenge and how the parents react will determine how future challenges are managed. The teenager may not be telling the parents all the pertinent details. The parents need to ask about who is going, where they are staying and how they are getting there and alarm bells should sound if the teenagers answers are evasive. In principal, a teenager going on holiday with another family is not an issue, if there is adult supervision and the family is known to the parents. It will also depend on how old the teenager is; a college aged student is bound to have become more independent and feel that they are old enough to vacation with other teenagers. A group of high school students without adult supervision is a recipe for disaster.
The parents may be able to offer a compromise; a vacation by the coast, with a couple of the teenagers' friends invited along, but with the family, is an option. Teenagers will leave home and vacation without the family, all in good time; missing Thanksgiving and Christmas, staying with partners or other friends, and parents will feel sad and get used to the situation. However, until the parents feel their teenager is old enough to be responsible on their own, they are going to have to say no and deal with the teenagers sulks for a period of time.