Parents the Anti-Drug
Parents actually have more influence over their children than they may think. It is important for parents to develop an appropriate relationship with their children. This includes knowing where they are going and who they are going with. Of course it is difficult to develop this type of relationship, it requires a lot of work especially for parents that have not spent much time with their children. It is never too late to begin working to gain your child's trust. This can be done by taking a genuine interest in the things the teen is interested in. A good example would be if your child was interested in bicycling you could get interested in cycling also. Any type of common ground is a great place to start. If your heart is in the right place and you are sincere things will probably work out fine. A teen can see through a false attempt to gain their trust.
Parenting and Friendship
Parents need to keep their friendship in the proper frame, they are not trying to become another friend for their teen they are a parent. Teens don't need more friends they need parents, parents that are sincerely interested in their children. It is obvious when a parent is trying to become another friend to their child, it can even be humorous to watch them try to act like a teenager. The attempt is at least a step in the right direction, but the efforts will usually backfire when they need to step up and be a parent. It is a fine line but as long as parents realize they will never be on the same level as a friend to their teen they will be fine. This is not to say that parents and teens can not have a special relationship, just that the parent needs to still be in charge when important unpopular decisions need to be made.
Let's Hang Out At Your House
Parents that are able to win their children's friends over will typically create a popular place for their child and their friends to be. The best case scenario is when a teen's friends enjoy being around an adult that can create a positive environment and provide an adult sounding board. Once the teen and friends realize the adult is sincerely interested in their well being they will soon win the respect of the group. This provides a great opportunity for the parent to develop deeper communication with their youth. The advantage of having a group of teens in their own home makes life much easier for the parents trying to assure their child is making good choices. Once a teen's friends would rather be in a parents home with them there the battle is half over. This benefit comes with some additional responsibilities of making sure there are positive things for the teens to do, and making sure the activities stay positive. These are relatively easy, much easier than trying to track a teen down or ask where they are going and where they have been.
Plan A Special Night Out With Your Teen
One of the best ways to build a relationship with your teen is to plan a couple special nights out each month. This may not seem like a big deal to you as a parent, but your teen will feel special even if they don't show it. Plan a dinner and a movie or a go bowling. If you are a father, plan a night out only with your son. Also, if you are a mother, plan a special girls night out. This is a very powerful way to show your teen that they mean a lot to you. If your teen doesn't respond or refuses to do anything but hang out with their friends, you may need to take a closer look at what's going on in their life. If you think your teen is acting out, call us and we may be able to help you find a solution to your problem.