When do you need to take fighting between step children seriously?

All siblings fight, and any parent who declares that their children do not fight, simply have kids who do it behind their parents' backs! The fighting between siblings is a normal part of family life, often it is almost automatic, as is the trading of insults, frequently a form of affection! Add a step child or children into the mix and it becomes more complex.

If that step child is a teenager having some problems, then the mix can become explosive. Children frequently hide things from adults and if the parents are recently married, or the whole family set up has changed, many children will say nothing for fear of upsetting their parents. However, there are occasions when adults blend their families and one or more children within that family end up suffering at the hands of another child. An angry teenager will tend to displace that anger and lash out at whoever is nearest.

So, they may be mad at their dad for remarrying, and take it out on their newly acquired step brother. It also occurs in reverse, whereby the children already in place in the home, bully the newcomer into the family. Parents may be too busy trying to get the new family unit established, or dealing with the teens other outbursts to notice the bullying taking place.

Signs to watch out for, to ensure that nobody within the family is bullying another

• A child withdrawing from participating in the family


• A child becoming clingy, hanging around you a lot (they are seeking protection)


• A younger child who starts wetting the bed or having night terrors


• A child or teen not wanting to be left in the house without a parent present


• A drop in performance at school


• Unexplained bruising or an increase in "sick days" and the child seeming to be ill more often than usual


• Excuses for injuries, 'only p, 'only messing around'


• Fighting being dismissed as 'play fighting'

Bullying is a sign that the bully needs help handling their anger or frustration, but it can also be a sign of more serious psychological conditions. If you have any suspicions whatsoever, that there is bullying going on between the children in your newly formed family, you owe it to the victim to identify the behavior. This is not about blaming anyone, or the end of the family unit; it is about protecting one child from another and stopping the behavior, which it is your job to do as a parent.