Being a single parent; when your children become teenagers

It is rare that someone chooses to be a single parent; most of us get married and have kids thinking it is a commitment for life. Parenting is a lifetime job, unfortunately not all partnerships last as long as that. Raising children on your own is a tough job, especially if you are coping with the loss of a partner at the same time. Whether through a break down in the relationship or a tragic death, finding yourself on your own with young children, is a tough job.

This job can get considerably harder your children reach their teenage years. Young kids do not ask for much explanation for a parent leaving, they tend to accept what the remaining parent says. If the absent parent keeps in touch with their children, then a new sort of parent child relationship is established over a period of time. This can be thrown into question as the child becomes a teenager, curious to know all the details of the separation or divorce, and wanting to understand what happened.

Teenagers start to ask their parents questions about their relationship break down, often, because they are experiencing feelings for the opposite sex, and are trying to understand the whole complicated emotion that is love. Their friends at school will ask why, when they find out the teen is being brought up by a single parent, and the teen will want to answer. This is not always a criticism of the parent, but can become fraught with problems if the break up was messy and unpleasant. It is hard to tell your teenager the truth if it is a disagreeable truth.

The teenage years are a time of testing the boundaries and a teenager who is defying their single parent can cause a lot of stress for that parent if they have nobody else to help them. Teenagers, who act out, know that one parent is easier to persuade or bully than two, and this can cause a lot of friction and confrontation. Single parents are not worse or better than two parents, but they may find that they need more help with their troublesome teenager. If there are serious discipline problems with your teenager and you cannot control them, consider enlisting the help of another adult whom they respect, or using the professional help you can get from experts in teenage behavior at boot camps or wilderness camps.

Being a single parent is hard work, and teenagers are the hardest to parent. However, be prepared to accept help, it is not a criticism of your ability to parent, it is common sense. Your teenager will benefit from a parent that is able to handle them, and you will have the relationship you want with your teenager. Asking for help is a sign of strength, an understanding that we all need support now and then, and a lesson you would want to teach your troubled teenager.