Your teenager is off to college, strategies for coping!
When a teenager leaves home to go to college for the first time, it is debatable as to who is most upset, the parents or the teenager. Whilst parents are proud that their son or daughter has gained a college place, and the teenager is excited at the prospect, both sides are at least a little worried about the whole process. College is a whole new environment, with a new set of rules and no parent safety net. High school can be stressful but the pressures of college are greater and the expectations higher.
A teenager at high school may complain about homework; at college they have to work independently most of the time and if they miss a deadline or fail to do some work, they will not get a detention; they are likely to lose their college place. The stakes are much higher at college and although campuses all have counselors, there is less of a support network for the freshman than there is at high school. The teenager will have lost many of their friends and have to make new ones. They will probably be living in a new town, or state, which could be a long way from home. Back home, the parents are suffering what is called empty nest syndrome, their teens' room is empty and the worries about what they are up to are magnified by distance.
The teenager at college will be exposed to a lot more temptation to behave badly than they would have had at home. Alcohol is far more freely available, as too drugs, and sexual encounters far more likely. These are facts, but they do not mean your teenager will turn into a promiscuous addict with no moral sense! At college the teen has to take more responsibility for their own actions and live with the consequences; not a bad situation, but a scary one for parents and teenager alike.
Parents can help their teen by being available without suffocating. Calling your teenager every day is not a good idea, unless they specifically ask you to, which indicates they are really homesick. It is fine for them to be homesick and fine for you to tell them you are missing them. If they know you care, are proud of them for their achievement, but would happily see them this weekend, they will feel less like a failure for admitting they are struggling and want to come home for some family support. The teenager at college needs to know they can come home if they need to, without feeling they are obliged to. The parent needs to ask about college in an interested way, about what they are studying, what the social life is like, not "are you going to lectures" and "are you drinking"? It is a balance between caring and not trusting your teenager; keep talking to them and they will survive college without too many bumps and bruises, and if they need you, they will know you are there for them.