Teenagers and relationship break-ups

Teenagers in love can be quite hard to handle, their emotions are all over the place and one minute they are euphoric, another time they are miserable and grumpy. This is normal teenage behavior but exaggerated when they are in love and far, far, worse when the relationship comes to an abrupt end. Dealing with a teenager who has been dumped by their boyfriend or girlfriend is an emotional rollercoaster, and that is just for the parent who has to handle the teenager's extreme grief, and sometimes anger.

Teenagers never believe that they will find another person to love and they can see the end of a relationship as the end of their chance to ever experience happiness. The parent, who knows better, may lose patience and underestimate their teenagers' pain. This in turn can be seen by the teenager as a further betrayal and yet more confirmation that they are unlovable. The teens' self esteem may hit an all time low; they may even talk about or contemplate suicide.

Teenagers experiencing a relationship break-up tend to lose all sense of perspective, they go over every single minute of the relationship, looking for reasons as to why it ended, looking to see if they could have done anything differently. Some teenagers refuse to accept the rejection, and pester their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend with unpleasant repercussions; the parents of the other teenager may be very unimpressed by constant late night calls, or visits, and resort to a restraining order if the situation gets out of control.

The parents need to intervene if their teenager seems unable to accept the end of the relationship and the extreme reaction to rejection can indicate a much more deep seated insecurity exists than the parents originally realized. Parents need to allow their teenager time and space to express their hurt and anger over the end of the relationship, but they should also keep encouraging them to talk about their feelings and how to let go of the anger for their own good.

If the teenager becomes withdrawn, they can be allowed some time to lick their wounds but prolonged isolation is not good for them. If your teenager seems to be beyond wallowing but obsessively unable to get over this break-up, then they need help. If they still know every single thing their ex is doing and become furious when the ex starts a new relationship, then they need professional intervention to teach them how to let go. All break-ups are painful, but the teenager unable to recover is manifesting behavior that needs treatment, or they will be unable to form healthy relationships in the future.