When admiration turns to obsession
Who remembers the first crush they ever had? It may have been someone at school or in the neighborhood, but it is more likely that it was a pop star, a sports idol or a movie star. Today's' teenagers continue to have crushes on people in the media, they follow their tweets, they pin posters on the wall and they save up to go and see them, either in real life or on the movie screen.
Whilst having romantic crushes may be more the domain of teenage girls, teenage boys follow some sports stars or teams with a fervor bordering on obsession. Most parents get used to hearing the same song endlessly, or become as familiar with the dialogue from certain movies as their obsessed teen. They my buy certain sports kit or memorabilia as Christmas and birthday presents, and wonder when their teenager will grow out of this, or transfer their obsession to the newest idol on the scene.
Some teenagers obsession with their idol becomes gradually more and more unhealthy, and it is difficult for many parents to realize quite how this happens or to even notice it happening until there are drastic consequences. Having a crush is part of growing up, and as such is not particularly unusual or damaging. All teenagers enjoy a healthy fantasy life and are looking for people to admire as role models.
Certain pop stars or sports idols have values or attributes the teenager admires, and they are frequently attractive and successful people, so become appealing to a teenager. The problem is when fantasy and real life blur, or the teenager abandons real life in favor of the fantasy life.
When a teenager has to see their idol every time possible, it may become an expensive obsession that parents are not willing to fund. The teenager desperate to follow their fantasy will steal to achieve what they want. They will put themselves at risk, by hitch hiking to a concert, getting in with older fans, hanging round stage doors; hotels where their idol is staying, easy prey for anyone who may wish to abuse their trust and take advantage of their obsession.
The teenager has lost touch with reality, and like any addict, can be defiant, angry, confrontational and resist any attempts to reason with them. Being a fan of someone who displays good values is not a bad thing, but when this becomes an unhealthy obsession, the teenager needs a reality check. Teenagers who need to disappear into a fantasy world are struggling with problems in the real world and this escapist behavior indicates other problems.
The parents have to intervene and the teen will need help to learn to live in their own, less glamorous world, and learn how to handle the problems they are experiencing. If an obsession has got completely out of control, parents may need some help with turning their teen around and would do well to consult experts in the areas of addiction as this is similar behavior.