Why do some teenagers hate themselves?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? For many parents, this is an odd question, maybe they look at themselves and notice a few more wrinkles, some extra grey hair, but generally speaking they do not spend hours gazing into a mirror hating their reflection. Some teenagers are so unhappy with their looks that every mirror becomes an enemy, but unable to resist, they stare at their image, finding fault with everything they see.

These teenagers suffer from a seriously poor self image and very low self esteem. It does not matter how many times their loving parents tell them they are beautiful, the teenager in this obsessed spiral of self loathing believes only what their distorted perception shows them, they are ugly and unlovable.

For the parent there appears to be no reason for this self hatred and they are baffled and distressed by their teenager's attitude. Some parents mistakenly see this condition as vanity and can worsen the teenagers self perception by dismissing the teens' behavior and trivializing their concerns. Few psychologists refer to this condition as self hatred, preferring to categorize it as low self esteem.

However, the teenager will frequently say that they hate themselves, and when challenged can list in excruciating detail everything they perceive to be wrong about their body, their personality, and their academic ability.

Quite why some teenagers have such low self esteem may be a mystery to their parents who see their son or daughter as an average child, who in some cases is actually doing very well academically. The teen will need a lot of counseling to get to the root of their low self esteem and this may take some time, depending on how long they have been feeling this way. For many girls, low self esteem is based upon a perceived image of beauty and what is seen by peers at high school as popular traits.

For many boys, the low self esteem can be linked to a lack of sporting prowess, an inability to fit in with the crowd and not feeling at ease with a macho environment. The teenager may feel that they have failed in some way, often a standard that they have impose themselves and perceive as not being able to meet. They may become more and more withdrawn as nobody takes them seriously, they may turn to drugs to make themselves feel better, or in extreme cases they contemplate or attempt suicide. If your teenager says that they hate themselves, and persist in saying so, do not dismiss it as frivolous vanity; get them help.