Talking to your teen about drug abuse

It is one of the hardest conversations any parent has to have; the one where you ask your teen if they are taking drugs. Some parents, rather foolishly believe that their teen will never take drugs, and whilst their teenager may not, you cannot assume they will not become one of the 15,000 teenagers from the United States who will try drugs for the first time today. Roughly 3 in every 25 students at school are thought to be using a drug; that is 12% of the high school population.

If you suspect that your teen is taking drugs, you may be at a loss as to how to initiate the conversation. It is generally not a good idea to blurt out, "Are you taking drugs?" The instant reaction to that will be denial, and you will then find yourself in a confrontation, with you becoming more and more convinced your teen is lying to you, and them becoming more and more defensive.

Conversations that arise naturally out of circumstance are generally more successful, so you could try one of the approaches outlined below. However the conversation starts, at some point you will have to ask the difficult question, but it does not have to be accusatory, you cannot help your teen to quit drug taking if they do not feel that you are on their side.

Ways to talk to your teenager about drug taking

• Documentaries on television or news stories are a good starting point, asking your teen their opinion on drug taking as a result of something seen on television, or read in the paper


• Discussions about pop stars, celebrities who are in rehab, and how sad it is that they are jeopardizing their success, again as a starting point for what your teen thinks


• Make a comment about the drug statistics that surprise you, maybe a few over a period of time

The more direct approach

• "Do you want to tell me what is going on?"


• "I love you and am concerned about you"


• "It is very hard for me to start this conversation, because I never thought I'd have to and also because you will probably be upset with me."


• "I am worried that you seem so unhappy, are you unhappy, can you tell me why?"

However you finally get talking to your teen about drugs, there are some very clear rules; you do not lose your temper, it gives your teen a reason to yell back at you; you do not talk about them being bad, it is the behavior you are challenging, not your teenager. If you need help understanding the types of drugs out there, see "What types of drugs might my teen be taking?"