Is my teenager feigning illness?
As parents, the worries of raising children are always made worse when they are ill. A sick child makes a parent feel helpless, they do what they can, but there is often nothing they can do but hope the child will get better. A common cold will be watched carefully to ensure it does not become more serious and the bumps and bruises of an active child may mean more than one trip to the local emergency room to check for fractures and breaks.
Parents of teenagers read in horror of outbreaks of meningitis at high schools and colleges and rushed to get their children vaccinated. As children get older and become teenagers, the worry subsides a little as the teen is able to communicate far better as to their symptoms.
Parents of teenage girls will have to manage the pain associated with menstruation and this can be very significant. Teenage boys tend to collect a succession of sports injuries and occasionally the damage resulting from risky behavior on bikes, in cars and if they get involved in fights. The problem for parents of teenagers is the illness that is non-specific, sometimes teenagers genuinely suffer from growing pains, but often they also have a bout of "Monday-itus" or the cold that comes on just before a test or exam.
Most parents can spot illness linked to an event and will cajole their reluctant teen out of bed, offering support and encouragement about the impending test, offering to collect them from school should they get worse. Sometimes that is all that is needed and the teen, aware that the parent has seen through their play acting, is still grateful that the parent is showing understanding and allowing them to save face. Confrontation with a teenager who is feigning illness, rarely works, as the illness is usually masking something else the teen is worried about.
Teenagers can find it very hard to admit they are scared or worried and will use illness as a way to express that fear or anxiety. If your teen regularly gets ill on certain days of the week, ask them what subjects are on that day at school. It may be a subject or a teacher the teen is trying to avoid. Teens who are being bullied will fake illness, to give themselves a break from the intimidation, and enjoy the feeling of security at home.
Some teenagers can become hypochondriacs at this age; they read too many horror stories on the internet and are convinced they have the latest disease. If the teen is ill regularly and becomes very agitated if their parents do not believe them, it is time to find out what is going on underneath this feigned illness. They may need counseling or therapy to discover the underlying emotional disturbance.