Being the parent of a teenage mother
Your daughter turned your world upside down when they told you they were pregnant, but you stood by them, and now they are at home with a small baby and your life will never be the same. You know, as a parent what needs to be done to look after a small baby, but now you are faced with a much more difficult challenge; teaching your teenager to be a parent. The reality of motherhood is far removed from that depicted in movies and magazines. Your daughter may have idealistic notions as to how to raise her child, more interested in cute Nike trainers than the sleepless nights and nappy changing.
As a parent you have to strike the balance between helping your child to be a mother, and taking over the duties of motherhood for her. This has to be set against your daughter's needs as a teenager; both her education and social needs. The job and career prospects of teenage mums is not very good, mostly because they miss crucial years of schooling and have less support than other teenagers. If you are a single parent raising a teenager with a baby your job is even harder, and you must make sure you access all the government aid that is available.
The teenage mom still needs to have some sort of life outside of motherhood or there is a risk that she grows to resent her baby and will neglect her parental responsibilities. That is not to say that her life is to remain the same; she has chosen to keep her child, she cannot expect her parents to simply raise the baby for her. The lack of sleep and the emotional responsibility may prove too much for the teenager who is barely out of childhood herself, at which point the situation may need re evaluation.
The needs of both child and teenager need to be considered and if the situation deteriorates, adoption may be the better option for both. Teenage moms are likely to act out, get more stressed and argue more with their parents than other teenagers. A possible option is to give them a temporary break away from the family at a camp for troubled teenagers, this may give them the breathing space they need to learn how to face up to their responsibilities.
If resentment at the situation and dislike of the added responsibility is allowed to go unchecked, the teenager may start staying out late, drinking and trying to recapture some "fun" of her previous life. The parents may respond by taking over more of the care of the infant and losing any authority over the teenager in the meantime. This should be prevented at all costs, neither teenager nor child will benefit in the long run if the relationship is allowed to disintegrate. Taking on a teenager with a child is an awesome responsibility for any parent and need not be undertaken alone. Both the parents and the teenager need support in this situation if the teenager and her baby are to thrive.