What to do if your teenager starts shoplifting

There is a knock at the door and your teenager is standing there with a stranger you do not know, who introduces themselves as a local shopkeeper and tells you that your teenager has been caught shoplifting from their store. Apart from the gut wrenching embarrassment of the situation you are appalled that the values of honesty you thought you had instilled in your child are clearly lacking. If it is a local shop, they are more likely to allow you to punish the child and if t does not occur again, then no harm done.

However, more and more of the large department stores are prosecuting teenagers for shoplifting, involving the police and imposing heavy fines on the parents. This goes on your teens' record which could jeopardize their chances later on in life. The knock at the door is bad enough, but the call from the police station is worse. The police can be a real ally in this situation, they can decide to let the teenager off with a caution but will read them the riot act in a way you never could. In fact they will scare the living daylights out of your teenager if you ask them to; a short sharp shock may be all it takes to avoid the shoplifting ever happening again.

Your teenager is not shoplifting because they lack money; too often it is part of an initiation into a gang, or a dare amongst friends. The teenager feels they have to prove themselves and they justify it with comments such as, "the insurance covers theft" and "nobody got hurt". More worryingly, teenage gang behavior might start with shoplifting and then escalate as the stealing becomes less of a thrill. If your teenager persists in shoplifting you need to find out what is going on with them, sometimes this is a sign of depression and stress, especially if they cannot remember doing it. Post traumatic stress disorder manifests in this way on occasions as does post natal depression.

Shoplifting is more commonly a stress and emotional response from girls and a response to a dare or challenge from peers for boys. However, if it is part of a pattern of increasingly defiant behavior and a change of friendship groups, your teenager is heading for trouble. You have to decide whether you are equipped to handle this or whether you need some professional support.