Is your teen son fighting at school?
You have had another call from your son's school principal, he's been fighting again and you have to go in and collect him. This teenager of yours seems to be out of control and you do not know what to do. When you talk to him he shrugs and says the other boy started it, or he deserved it, and that's all you get out of him. He says he won't do it again but it happens a month later and he is now at risk of being expelled from school.
A good school is interested in getting to the bottom of these situations with their students but, unfortunately, some schools just punish and expel. Others may offer your teenager time with a school counselor, which he may refuse to go to. You have to persuade him that the school will not keep him if he does not use their counselor, even if he hates the idea. Some schools counselors are hopeless, others good, but you should not rely on them to sort this out.
Getting to the bottom of his bad behavior requires a lot of patience on your side. Test the water; see how much he cares about staying at that school. If he genuinely seems unbothered by being expelled it may be that he secretly hates the school and fighting is his way of getting out of there. If you suspect that this is the case, suggest that you change schools and see what his reaction is. This has two benefits, one it avoids him having "expelled" on his school record and secondly it may be what he needed to stop being so angry and fighting. If he seems genuinely upset at the idea of being kicked out of school then you have to find out what is triggering the fighting.
Whatever you do, remain calm throughout your conversations; meeting anger with anger will only make things worse. If your son is not an angry child at home, then someone or something is setting him off at school. Try saying "what can I do to help you stay at school without fighting?" Ask questions about the boys he is fighting with, are they part of the same crowd, do they say something particular to get him angry? If he becomes embarrassed and awkward when asked these questions, see if another relative may have more luck. It may be that the trigger for the fights is something being said about you or the family and your son does not want to tell you because it will upset you.
If you are able to find out what is happening, you need to talk to the school about it. Depending on their response, it will either be resolved, or you may want to move your son to another school.