Teenagers who fight with younger siblings

You can hear the shouting as you come up the front drive, your teenager is screaming at their little brother and the younger child is crying. Jealousy amongst siblings is pretty common and disagreements are part of growing up, but sometimes siblings fight like cats and dogs. It is usually worse between same sex siblings; yes the younger sister is a pain sometimes, but the younger brother is a rival and the fights get very physical on occasions. The trouble is, that often the children can be playing very happily together or cheerfully separate in different rooms, not bothering each other, when suddenly an almighty row kicks off apparently out of nowhere.

It is usually a territorial dispute of some description. The younger child has decided to play with the older child's belongings, or switches the TV channel over; not realizing the older brother just left the room to get a juice. The teenager sees this as encroaching on their space, they get angry, an argument ensues, and the younger child seems to end up being forgiven more often than the older child, simply because they are younger.

"It's not fair" is a cry every parent is familiar with, but often it is not fair, we tend to protect the younger child and expect the older child to be more tolerant. Sometimes the younger child quite deliberately takes something from the older sibling, safe in the knowledge that they will not get punished for it. As a parent you need to balance the expectations you have and remember that your teenager may be the elder but they too are still a child. Jealousy is a very destructive emotion and you need to be sure that your behavior is not making it worse. It is especially hard for an eldest child; we tend to make all our mistakes with our first born and then are more relaxed with subsequent children.

However, if you feel that the play fighting is becoming serious, and the arguments more frequent, you will have to take direct action. Your teenager is the stronger child; they can hurt their younger brother or sister, and you cannot let that happen. Spend some time alone with your teenager, give them specific attention and if that does not work, consider some counseling help. An angry, violent, teenager can cause irreparable damage to the family dynamic. As a parent you cannot let that happen.